Sunday, February 25, 2018

The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway II


Black Hole Sun

Back on track, Iron Man soared with a purpose up toward the dark, whirling miasma where the myriads of angels and Jesus had arrived, and where they were now turned back toward and marching to, accompanied by Lucifer and his legions.
The vision was so large in scope and implication it was visible from many lands of blackened sky.  Kings looked on in wonder. Some unraptured people in the Vatican looked on in wonder and hope. Others with no protective shield looked with dread, knowing their hour has come.
On the lawn of the White House stood a sad and quiet woman along with her pre-teen son; she looking at her husband and he at his father. They had forcefields. He had none but looked at the sky without a care or worry believing money made him invincible from all things.  Most of his staff lacked forcefields as well.
From within the miasma known only as the Prima Materia by scattered mystics, hungering and waiting vortexes appeared.


Tony soared up into the great opening from which the Christ and his myriads had appeared. 'Where the hell are you Steve? Or heaven? Or whatever this place is?' Tony thought. So many of the angels and people who'd left their clothes and planet behind in favor of this life were now difficult to tell apart. They all glowed from within the near blinding white robes they wore, like the picture of Jesus transfigured he'd seen in Sunday school as a kid.  This place gave him the creeps. This miasma was full of life and intent. Malice and good will at the same time.  The sooner he found Steve the better. After a few minutes of rude shoving and close scrutiny of both angels and men, he finally found Steve, and his frienemy looked as confused and disoriented as everyone else there to boot!
He didn't hold back his smug grin; he didn't even try. 'So even the righteous Cap is clueless!' he crowed silently to himself.  He bumped rudely into several angels and raptured people before reaching him.
"Hey Cap! I got questions and I need answers. And you're going to clue me in to all this stuff, as in why you're up here, Bruce is down there with a bubble around him and why the hell I don't have one."
"Sorry, I have other stuff to attend to now. Looks like the Avengers won't be needed anymore anyhow. The scene is changing for this world." Steve answered.
"Oh Jesus, I've got no time for this!" Tony said, before tucking Steve under his arm and flying back down.
"Bad time to take the Lord's name in vain, Stark!" Steve shot back.

When they touched ground, Tony dragged Steve by the arm to Banners lab. He pointed at Banner. "Okay Steve, what the hell are these force fields, why do Banner and Pepper have them and I dont?" he demanded.
"Tony...I really don't know. I'm not as prepared for this as much as I thought I'd be. The only thing I know is that an an angel told me there's only a hundred and forty-four thousand like me chosen since Jesus rose two thousand years ago. Apparently, we're supposed to be co-rulers and priests with him. I don't know what that means. I only know I had a creepy feeling about how the angel told me.

The earth began to shake. Thick flashes of lightning returned. Loki (with a martini in his hand) and Heimdall looked at Thor. "Don't look at me, I'm not doing any of this." Thor shrugged.
"I find it all rather exciting!"Loki said.
"Of course you do brother. What better source of mirth for you than upheaval and destruction." Thor retorted.
Heimdall looked on in thoughtful silence as the building rocked but held safely in place.

Soon, cracks opened in strategic places upon the planet. Lightning struck the palaces and places where corrupt government's carried out their lawlessness. The haughty trading places worldwide were swallowed, flaming, into the bowels of the earth. Long abandoned concentration camps were reduced to ash and eaten up by the planet.  The Commander in Chief and his staff stood in fearful amazement as The White House received a great part of the wrath that day. Lighting smote it repeatedly until all was ablaze. The United Nations was judged for the apathetic lack of fulfilling it's purpose, and for the corruption around every corner of its hallways. The palaces of wealthy Arab oil barons were rent apart. Most of the Fortune 500 corporation headquarters were burnt and swallowed up. Perhaps one of the most furious of judgments was received by Monsanto, who corrupted crop seed and endangered bees and many other species with their greedy grab for control of the global food supply. It was bombarded by lightning, hailstones and mingling flames of sulfur. The earth ate it and a large, noisome belch of fire and smoke issued as the crack closed upon it.

Across the globe the great majority of soldiers who, in service to their country, had the blessing and good fortune of having protective bubbles. Most military generals and leaders who sat safely behind enemy lines at desks, did not; nor did the corporate CEO's who now sat unprotected and worried without force fields but with great foreboding.  What would become of the worth of their money in the wake of this event?  Many jumped from windows of the high towers of finance.
Swords were not beaten into plowshares that day, the military compounds were simply swallowed up, along with their weapons, once they were safely evacuated.

The quaking ceased and Tony resumed fishing for answers and grilling Steve when his questions began receiving answers that didn't look or sound too good.  A great outcry was heard as blood rained from the sky. No building could shelter even a single being from the red tide falling from the sky as it penetrated all things solid, liquid, and gas. Tony, Steve and Banner looked on in horror from the basement monitor. The blood shed on the cross of Calvary had grown in volume as sins had accumulated from the time of his death until now, stored in the Prima Materia for this hour.   The blood purified every living soul. Those without a force field bore terrible pain as the white, transfigured light from within rejected all of their fallen flesh and blood until every remaining sinew and drop of sinful blood had perished and rose to the miasma to be reduced to its primal state once again, and replaced with pure, sinless souls and flesh that required no blood.  Those with a force field were the humble unbelievers and others of the meek who would inherit the earth and maintain it the way it deserved to be. They, too, lost their fallen flesh but with as much pain as shedding a shoddy old coat. Banner, Steve and Tony watched in wonder as Bruce was transfigured, although he lacked the wings of the priests and raptured beings. His force field then disappeared.
Tony looked at himself. His suit seemed to be protecting him somehow. But if he took it off he would have to suffer! Why? He grabbed Steve and shoved him against the wall. "Why don't I have a shield Steve? Why? I was baptized Catholic when I was a baby for Chrissake! And look at you. Mr. Can't Do Wrong with your pretty glow and pretty wings!"
Steve shoved him back. "It doesn't matter if you're baptized or not if you're an arrogant, materialistic prick! You think the world revolves around you and all your nifty inventions and toys! It's all in perspective now isn't it buddy? Your relative lack of importance compared to just your average Joes? Lots of average Joes were raptured Tony! Even those who weren't still get to live on the New Earth. Even creeps in high places are cleansed now...Jesus made a way out for everyone, man. You too...but you can't stay in that suit forever."
"I can't take that sort of pain! I'm scared to death, Steve! Scared!"
"Then get kneebound and fucking pray!" Steve yelled.
Tony dropped and began reciting all the rote Catholic prayers he could recall, which weren't many.
"Tony....come on, man!" Steve said, "pray like you mean it! Repetitive prayers are just empty words! It  has to come from the heart. Have some faith in something higher than yourself for once!  You think science has all the answers. You think you can dig them all up. Sure, you're a genius but man only discovered scientific law! God made those laws! Remember when people used to think the universe was geocentric? Ptolemy the Greek thought that and even Plato and Aristotle thought so too! Hundreds of years from now what we know today will seem just as absurd! Can't you see? Now try again."
Once again Tony tried an awkward prayer to a god he'd never paid much heed to. And still nothing changed. He stood up, defeated.
"Well...looks like I'm just going to have to stay in this suit til I die. That should make you happy."
Steve's lips and chin quivered and fat tears rolled down his cheeks, crystallized into diamonds and scattered on the floor.  "Is that how little you think of me? That I'd want you to die? It'd kill me Tony! You have no idea. Please....just take off the suit! It won't hurt forever and then it'll all be over. Then you can be at peace. But god! I don't want to watch you die! Dammit!" He hugged Tony and wept, scattering more diamond tears on the floor as they rolled off the Iron Man's suit.
Tony gently pushed him back. "It's okay Steve. I'm gonna take off the suit. But I'm going down to my soundproofed room in the sub basement. No one should have to hear when it happens. Especially Pepper.

He turned and strolled toward the elevators. It was strange. Everything had color but looked clear and crystal. He could almost see his top floor even from Banner's lab. He could see Thor and Loki and Heimdall as tiny specks and again wondered why they were exiled here. From the looks of it, nothing affected them in all this. Just as his elevator dinged, his suit began to unravel slowly from foot to crown and rose through the floors as if they weren't there at all. "It would seem I served you well in my desire to protect you." Jarvis said as a final word. Tony wept tears of sheer gratitude for Jarvis as he looked at his hands.  Living light glowed from within. He was clothed with a clean white robe and his feet were bare.  He turned and walked back to Steve. "I guess a few beings thought I had more faith than we both thought."
"You thought of others for once. You wanted to spare their feelings. You showed some real humility" He shoved a finger into Tony's chest. "But I still have wings and you don't!" he said.

They both turned to Banner who was laughing at them so hard he had to hold his belly. "Seriously! You two need to get a room! For all our sakes! Get it out of your system! The tension between you two is suffocating!"
He dropped his head on the lab table and kept laughing as his shoulders shook.

BEGIN EXPLICIT CONTENT[Get ready to scroll, it's long...cuz that's how I roll, heheh]

Tony and Steve quietly regarded and took each others' measure. "Oh fuck it." Tony said and pulled
Steve close, kissing him like he meant business.
Steve's eyes flew wide open and he flailed momentarily before grabbing Tony about the waist and pulling him close. The contact made him cry out and whimper.  With parted lips they explored each others' taste.
"I didn't just mean that figuratively. Get a room...please!" Bruce begged.  There was no need to ask again as Tony dragged Steve to the elevator. 

The ride upward was anything but boring. The elevator was filled with the passionate sounds of their deep kisses. They moaned as they explored every angle and plane of each others' bodies.
Tony pressed and rubbed against Steve insistently with heavy breath and moans. Steve's wings flapped against the glass walls and he whimpered helplessly as the Manhattan view went ignored.
"Tony....Tony!" he interrupted as he caught his breath. "I think you aught to know this is my first time." Steve confessed.
"That's okay Steve. I've never been with a guy either. No worries." Tony replied.
"No. I mean, like ever. With anyone." he added.
"You're joking right?" Tony asked with a chuckle of disbelief.
"No! And it's not funny! All the girls? They all wanted Bucky. I was just the scrawny kid from Brooklyn. I mean he got me dates but they couldn't take their eyes off Bucky. I mean him no ill will but it did hurt." Steve explained.
"Yeah, but what about, you know, after you got those enhancements and shit?" Tony said.
"There was just no time, Tony; and things were a lot different that way in those days. There was also the service, moving around with my company, and I wouldn't touch any of the women after me with a ten foot pole. They were all just...meat gazers. I'm pretty damn picky, Tony. There was Peggy but there was just never the right time or circumstances. I was busy prostituting US Savings Bonds and she was busy helping put together S.H.I.E.L.D. And then all hell broke loose, and before you know it...I was the Capsicle." he smiled ruefully.
"You've had plenty of chances since you've been back. Why haven't you dated?"
"Guess I was just waiting for the right time, place, and person." Steve answered.
"I think I just went from hard to rock hard." Tony breathed and kissed Steve again. He gently squeezed between Steve's legs. "You're not exactly soft either." he murmured.


Steve lay apprehensively on the bed, naked and waiting. His wings were spread apart which only served to provide a more receptive and vulnerable appearance.  They both watched in confusion and no small amount of relief as the crystalline walls grew opaque.
"Just relax." Tony murmured as he let the lube he squeezed warm in his palm. He parted Steve's thighs and let it slowly drip from his palm between Steve's legs. It glistened and made him incredibly inviting.  Tony couldn't stop kissing him all over. No part went un-kissed: his face, his neck, his chest and belly-all received passionate kisses and purple love marks as he slowly loved his way lower. His lips were repeatedly drawn to his inner thighs as he left red nips and reddish purple love bites. Steve's feathers stood on end and his wings quivered as he ran his fingers through Tony's hair and gripped his body between his muscular thighs.  He moaned with parted lips and wore the pained expression of one experiencing extreme bliss or discomfort.  His panting sounded full of desperation and was often interrupted by a wail of approval if Tony found a sweet spot.  Tony found it all so innocent and sweet and so very hot.
Finally, he slowly and gently inched and wiggled a finger inside. He felt the involuntary quiver of Steve's tightness and swore softly as he slid softly all the way in. Steve cried out and arched his back. Tony dropped his head and swore softly as he began to loosen him up with leisurely rhythm.
Steve writhed sensuously under such intense pleasure and reached down to stroke himself. He sighed.
"That's it...just do it baby." Tony murmured and added another finger with great care and no small amount of stealth. Steve bucked against him, so innocent in all his shameless desire and need.
"Oh God! Harder! Faster!" Steve cried out. Tony needed no encouragement. He started out slowly but Steve bucked harder. He didn't want to hurt this sweet, virginal thing-who no one would dare touch unless they wanted to die a thousand painful deaths as far as he was concerned now-but he seemed insatiable and tough. Steve grabbed the sheets, hissed and panted as Tony slammed him with nearly no mercy. Soon it was more than he could take. His shaking hands poured more lube on to his cock and he massaged it in. Steve watched. "Yes..." he whispered, "that's what I want. Oh God please hurry." he dropped his head back on the pillow. 
Tony groaned as he slid slowly into Steve, stopping occasionally to make sure he wasn't hurting him. Soon they found their rhythm and their lips found each other as well as they kissed while the bed rocked softly."You can do it harder if you have to.  I wont die you know." Steve said breathlessly. Tony pushed him down by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Look Steve. I'm not going to rush this and hurt you if you think I need to for some reason. I have no desire to hurt you...ever.  It's not how I roll."
There were soft whispers and kisses. Gentle strokes and embraces. Tony's breathing came faster and harder as he neared his climax. His thrusts grew faster like the beat of a war drum and Steve was a shaking mess. Then like a thousand springs uncoiling at once, Tony released, along with the rapid-fire series of declarations. "I love you! God I love you! I always have damn you!"
When he was finished, he sat between Steve's thighs and stroked him. He smiled with pleasure as Steve bucked up into his fists looking so hot and sweet at once. "Yes....yes....! Oh God here it.... comes!.....ah, fuck!" Steve cried out as thick ropes shot from inside him and painted his chest and chin.

They lay quietly in each other's arms and spoke soft words, made long over due apologies and declared their long held, deeply buried love to each other. Steve wrapped his wings around Tony. "Guess I was waiting for you all along. Only love can make someone hold out like I've been holding out."


They sat up, startled, as the opaque room once again grew translucent. Tony tossed the blanket away in disgust. Even it was translucent again.  They both quickly threw on the clean white robes which seemed to be the only items that afforded them any privacy.

Both were startled when an angel appeared in the room out of nowhere. "Hey! Who the hell are you and how'd you get in here?" Tony demanded. Steve closed his eyes as if he expected disaster to strike on the spot.
"Number 1: I do not come from hell. Hell does not exist unless you consider the world that just passed away as hell. Number 2: My name is Gabriel, and 3: I simply walked through your wall." the angel answered. "Quite a handy ability at times."
"Okay then," Tony pressed, "why are you here and why is everything so fucking invisible?"
"All is made new and perfect. There is nothing to hide from anybody and no harmless deed is wrong nor requires a covering. The opaque walls afforded during relations is merely a temporary arrangement until such a procreative need is no longer necessary. On that day all sex relations will cease." the angel replied.
"Not much fun about that." Tony replied dryly.
"I am here to take away that which belonged to one now undeserving. It is unbecoming for the Priesthood or rapture to belong to those still attached to corporeal pleasures." Soon, Steve began to itch incessantly at his wings. To Tony's horror, Steve began to scream as they soon began to smoke and the substance of them unfurled feather by feather, muscle by muscle, sinew by sinew and bone by bone until transfigured flesh finally knit itself over normal shoulder blades. Steve cried even when the agony was finished but they were merely liquid tears now.
"Why'd you have to do that to him? It hurt, can't you see that? Don't you care? Look at your face! You make Mr. Spock look like an emotional wreck compared to your blank lack of feeling!" Tony yelled.
"What justice would there be in God creating a creature capable of feeling such sorrow when such jobs must be perrformed? Angels are not like humans. We lack much that you have and very little free will is granted many of us. We do what we do because we have to."
Gabriel turned and walked through the wall leaving them behind. Once outside, he blasted his great horn. The heavens were beginning to close as Jesus and Lucifer headed the armies of the heavens before the throne of God.
"Don't feel too bad Steve. Now you get to stay down here with me.  Thank God for that. I know I'd be lost without you now." Tony said as he curled next to him to comfort his pain and loss.



The eyes of the Allfather shot open and glanced about. He'd faked the Odinsleep long enough. The time had come at last.  Two guards came forward: one with Gungnir, his spear, and the other, awaiting any orders given. He snatched his spear impatiently and barked his orders,  "Both of you leave at once! Make sure orders are given that no one disturb me, approach me, offer me mead or wine-anything! Am I making my will known?"
They both bowed.
"And don't do that either....I sicken of it! Just be off attending your orders!"
He rode Sliepnir with breakneck speed across the rainbow bridge to the bifrost.  There Heimdall awaited, as usual, attending his shift, guarding the dimension threshold-crossing wormhole.  Odin summoned two guards and ordered them to release Loki from his cell and bring him, bound, along with Thor and the keys to Loki's shackles.  All mischief must be avoided until after he succeeded his final act.
"How may I serve you, my Lord?" Heimdall asked.
"You may start off by ceasing to call me Lord!" he said, looking at his guardsman with irritation and scorn. "And second of all, you may hand me that sword."
Heimdall was confused and wary.  The Allfather had more than once lost touch with his own faculties and caved into obsessive single-mindedness.  Nevertheless, his sworn duty was to obey Odin without question. With misgivings, he handed over the sword.
Heimdall grew edgier as Odin paced the bifrost chamber muttering to himself impatiently, but soon the sound of pounding hoofbeats grew louder as Thor approached with Loki mounted in front of him, looking humiliated at having to ride across half of Asgard in shackles for all onlookers to see him as one requiring his older brother to babysit him.  Again.  "What is this about, Father?" Thor demanded, as he dismounted and aided his brother to the ground. "You imprison my brother and then you turn him loose-with me-and summon us here? Do you mean to exile Loki then?"
"No my son," Odin said as he sheathed the bifrost sword to activate it. "I mean to exile all of you." The wormhole opened and shimmered, waiting to receive it's guests.
"Hammer!" Thor called out and soon Mjolnir was in his grasp.
"Good! Take it! You may need it where I'm sending you." Odin declared.
"And where do you intend to banish us off to?" Loki asked casually.
"To Midgard.  And there you shall stay. Things are getting ready to move and shake there, you could say." Odin added humorously. "You may yet be needed at time's end."
"And you would send Loki?  Have you gone mad?" Thor retorted in disbelief.
"Oh I promise you, my sons, there are bigger things going on than you can imagine in the realm of Midgard. You will go as well, Heimdall." Odin said, "I think I'll send you to Manhattan to grab a front row seat.  Once you realize the scope of what Midgard is up against, things will quickly fall into perspective.  You will be...tourists."  He grabbed his spear and pointed it at them all.  He advanced slowly and they backed slowly.  Loki grinned with good humor.
"Come now brother! Where is your sense of adventure? My curiosity is now duly piqued I must admit."
"I never thought I'd live to see the day when I would hear myself advising you to heed the words of your devious brother, but there it is!  Now back slowly and take the leap." Odin pointed the spear until it made contact with Thor's chest. Thor's eyes grew watery and his eyes shifted in disbelief. "You mean it! You actually mean it!"
"No dilly-dallying, brother.  Come now! You must follow me lest I remain bound in these infernal shackles until I manage to find someone with the technology to remove them.  Not likely.  Cheers!" He leaped into the wormhole, fully aware that his brother retained guilt for his long fall into the abyss several years back before he'd unleashed the Chitauri hell upon New York.
"This isn't over, Father." he said, pointing at Odin before leaping in.  Heimdall was the only one left and was far more reluctant to give in.  Odin pressed the spear against his chest slowly until Heimdall knew, without a doubt, that the Allfather meant business.  He looked at the ground in resignation, sighed and took the leap.
Thor and Loki were already standing and gazing upward with amazement when Heimdall arrived. Being the gatekeeper, he'd been used to sending people away, not going himself.  He rubbed his bottom as he stood.  Loki chuckled. "How does it feel? Not pleasant is it?" Loki turned to Thor, "Pleases brother," he implored with outreached hands, "Unlock me. Look at this place! I certainly couldn't do any worse than what I see going on about me."
"You will remain bound until I learn more of this upheaval. Heimdall..what do you see?" Thor asked.
"I see that time is ended for this place.  Unlike our world, this one is doomed to receive eternal life.  I also see that we are greatly outgunned and outnumbered.  Armies I see...marching to the dwelling of the gods of Midgard.  I see two sons, once believed to be enemies, marching to war against the throne."

Once Odin returned, he felt years younger and pounds lighter. He was merely watched warily byb the guards as he made his way back to his room. From his closet he grabbed his tattered blueish grey cloak, a tackle box, and fishing pole. He topped his head with his travelling hat and left the room.
Very few guards who'd heard his orders and those who had not, acted on impulse and approached in spite of his commands. He raised his hand to ward off all who would speak to him.  After what seemed like an eternity of dipping and dodging the Royal Guard, servants, scholars and soldiers, he finally found himself taking a slow, peaceful ride along the wooded path that led to the Lake of Sorrows.  He spotted a shape in the distance and knew his requests had been faithfully carried out.  All ties to the throne were now cut.


End Of All Hope

Lucifer and Jesus finally reached the throne....and found it empty.  The only other thing nearby was the Ark of the Covenant, but the the two covering angels were missing. The scintillating lights of the microcosmic universe whirled and mesmerized the infant laying upon the Ark in its growing speed, brilliance and kaleidoscopic beauty. It watched the universe in amazement.
Lucifer cautiously approached the throne. There was a single piece of parchment. It simple read: "Suckers!" he turned it over and read the reverse: "Gone fishin''
 Lucifer tittered. And then he giggled. And then he was taken by full blown, gut busting laughter. "Looks like Our Father has played us big time, brother!" he laughed at Jesus who found none of this very amusing at all.
From out of the darkness a woman appeared.  Her head was arrayed as if with 12 stars over silver hair, shining as liquid mercury. Her face and body beamed like the sun under her white robe, and the crescent moon gleamed near her feet. She regarded the myriads, the legions, and Lucifer and Jesus her two sons.
"I am the Immaculate Conception. From henceforth there will be no more innocent births to look at life." she said as she removed the baby and sat upon the throne. "It is time for my sons to grow up and do the work befitting Gods, along with your anointed Kings and Priests.  For too long now have babies been forced to look at life. They all eventually tire of it, pine for freedom and take their leave. Then the universe begins another cycle of entropy until I birth yet another baby to take it's place. This is unfair to do to babies and certainly unfair to expect of one Heavenly Mother. It is time the work be shared. Thus, the 144,000 Kings and Priests. You Lucifer, and Jesus will be the first two. After a time two others will replace you, a pair at a time until all of the anointed number have finished. And then it begins again with you Jesus, and Lucifer. Now, climb upon the Ark.
The two sons felt compelled to obey. Their plain clothes were replaced with clean white robes and they received wings of exquisite whiteness as soon as they took their respective places.
"Now... genuflect." Lucifer and Jesus bent over the microcosmic universe with their hands held over it in reverence.  Their wings spread upward and forward until they each touched at the tip of the others' wings.
"Never look away during the length of your turn, lest the universe fall into entropy again. Such a thing is not easily conscripted."
The woman held the infant up. "Behold! The World is Thine!"


The closer Odin approached the lake, the more visible the other old man grew. He smiled and made a noise of satisfied contentment.  Upon arriving, he approached and sat on the log next to him. The other old man was baiting a hook.
"So.....all went as planned?" The old man called Heavenly Father asked.
"Just as planned." Odin said. He stood and removed the bifrost sword, Hofund, and cast it far into the Lake of Sorrows. He sat again with a sigh and bait his hook.  "Any who would retrieve the bifrost sword must now contend with the Lorelei if they dare. I now have no heir to the throne. I can abdicate to whomever I please with my sons gone. And with Heimdall gone and the sword hidden, he cannot return my sons. I finally did it: I am free of the throne and all the fruitless searches and all the nonsense that goes along with it. Whatever happens, happens. And you?"
"If all went as planned then there is a Priesthood in place to take over, and a woman who can stop bearing babies born only to look at life and keep it pure.  No more innocence to be laid upon the Ark only to sicken and fall to the earth; just another lost angel. I've done my share watching all this sorrow from the throne long enough. Godhood is strictly for the birds. Feels good to be free of the responsibility doesn't it?" The Heavenly Father asked.
"That's goddamn right." Odin said and cast out his line.

Saturday, February 3, 2018

The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway

(disclaimer: All Marvel and other characters belong to Marvel, Disney, etc, blah!)

The sun became darkened, the moon had become red and the stars winked, one by one, from the sky. They had been dead for ages now. Only recently did the final rays shine and fade from Earth. Time was ended.
"Tony, you gotta come see this." Bruce said. "I may be wrong, but I think we're seeing a black hole!"
The Iron Man rolled his eyes. "Banner, I think you can be quite assured that we're not seeing a black hole."
"Instruments don't often lie Tony.  Whatever it is it's got one hell of a mass! What's your take Steve?.....Steve? Hey, where'd Cap run off too?" Banner said.
"I have no clue Bruce but he was buck-ass naked-look." He pointed to the heap of Steve Rogers uniform and vibranium shield.
Tony and Bruce watched the sky as it grew dark grey and nearly black in places. Lightening flashed. Thunder roared. Thor wasn't around so it had naught to do with him.
Tony and Bruce watched as baseball sized hail fell from the sky, intermingled with sulfur and flames. They watched as people became replaced by empty piles of clothing.
Tony turned to say something to Bruce and was stopped short. "What in hell is that and....why don't I have one?"
Bruce poked from the inside at the bubble-like forcefield surrounding his body. He couldn't leave it, apparently.

Down on Broadway a strange event unfurled.  From the dark gloom the skies parted and myriads of winged creatures followed a man as they descended to the Earth.  Steve was there and just as disoriented as every other raptured being.  He was too flumoxed to ask questions and too overwhelmed to do anything but follow. He'd been raised a believer. He had faith. He was saved. But at that moment he had no clue exactly what all was included...or implied. The only question he'd dared ask what he assumed to be an angel, was, "Is What am I now?"
The angel answered without sparing him so much as a glance. "You are one of the remnant of  144,000 souls bought from the Earth. Roughly speaking, you are a fellow King and Priest with Christ. Congratulations. You're a rung up on the heavenly food chain, part of a group second only to The Father and Christ himself. You have fun with that!" Then the angel laughed mirthlessly and flew off.

All over New York piles of clothes replaced people, some people were inside protective forcefields and others had no forcefield and hadn't been raptured.

Everyone, however, was confused.

Two men slowly approached each other on Broadway. On the one side was a nondescript man who wore blue jeans, a t-shirt, denim jacket and a cheerfully insane grin and shaggy blonde hair. Lucifer this one was called. His legions followed. Some were so beautiful you couldn't believe it and some were so ugly you couldn't believe it.

From the other side approached a similar looking man-a twin. Dressed the same but this one was somber of face and the graveness of all creation rest upon his brow. Christ this one was, the man named Jesus. They drew nearer. Lucifer chuckled. "So...the lamb really does lie down on Broadway!"

They stood two feet apart. It was a gunfight with no guns. Minutes passed. Lucifer finally leaned over and spoke in conspiratorial tones, " you, or do you not....have my back?"
Silenced reigned. No myriad behind Jesus spoke. Some so beautiful you couldn't believe it and some so hideous you couldn't believe it.

Five minutes passed.

Slowly, Jesus reached his hand out. Lucifer took it into his own and shook it.

And then Lucifer stood side by side next to Jesus and both legions and myriads parted like the red Sea for the two brothers as they began to march slowly upward as if gravity was their plaything. Because it was, really.

"I have no clue what's going on here, but I have my suspicions." Tony said. "Jarvis? Suit please." Tony stood as his virtual servant carried out it's robotic commands.  He dashed through his foyer and barely registered Pepper pressing against her bubble as if to escape. "Um, Tony, could you? Okay." She sighed and shrugged as she continued to puzzle over her forcefield.

Tony flew upward, dodging angels-and hitting some as he sought out Cap. If anyone knew anything about this shit it was Steve.  He stopped in midair as a strange thing befell the earth and it's inhabitants. It were as if light from the center of the planet flowed outward.  Everything was crystalline in appearance and invisible. "This shits not right." Tony muttered to no one in particular.
"I am merely your humble servant. I do not deign to understand what is or is not going on here." Jarvis said, although no one asked.
"Yeah, yeah, thanks for pointing out the obvious, Jarvis." Tony said.
Tony peered down as he passed and caught a sight he never expected: Thor, along with Loki, and Heimdall as well. He decided a brief pitstop was in order. "Thor! What are you doing here? And what's he doing with you?"
"There's no need to be coy. It's obvious you mean me." Loki said (although no one asked)in his best bored, slash, offended tone.
"It would appear your world is having it's Ragnarok." Thor said.
"But why are you three here?" Tony puzzled.
"The Allfather has exiled us. Why? We do not know." Heimdall said.  Tony sighed. He eyed them, all three. He had his misgivings about Loki but now was not the time to split hairs. "Just...." he scratched at his armored head as if it were his own. "Ah, crap. Just go. All three of you. Get to the tower. Keep an eye on him!" he pointed at Loki who only shrugged and flashed his most delighted and brilliant smile. "No need to offend. I promise to behave. And I may even have that drink you offered me a few years ba-"
"Stay away from my liquor cabinet. I've changed my mind you narcissistic dilattante."
Thor ran toward Stark Tower with Heimdall and Loki in tow as Iron Man went to find bigger fish to fry.


Friday, January 19, 2018

It Had To Stop

My name is Christine and I am an alcoholic and addict. It has been three months since I've had a drink and even longer since I've gotten high. But it's only been two days since I recognized and quit my most insidious of addictions: text based role play.

Text based role play involve either fan based character or Original Characters (OC,'s) or both. You have one or more characters at your end, a role playing partner has characters at their end. It Each person takes turns writing and adding to the story. It can be via email, chat program or places like private Facebook groups, Tumblr and forums. For some people the end of a role play occurs when they naturally outgrow it or become bored with it or it just fades. Sometimes one person is ready to end before the other is and the replies come further and farther between along with the excuses and promises.

Unfortunately, in my case, I'm Almost always the last one to want to end an RP and due to my overly sensitive and addictive nature, the endings are excruciating for me. I not only hurt, but I can feel the panic and pain of my character because there is almost always romance involved and some smut.

It's especially difficult when there was a pregnancy and children involved. Recently I had one like that. My character got to hold the newborns one time and then my partner ended the role play and had the gall to ask me to start a new one. Right. When I'm doubled over in pain along with my character in a state of grief.

I really don't understand the nature of what a character actually is. They act on their own behalf, have their own food preferences and clothing styles. They have a form of free will inside my head and in the story. I am only the hand that writes.  I am the scribe.

In the beginning was The Word.

I believe, although I cannot prove, that characters are living things, no matter brief their lives or limited their consciousness.  The thing is, is that I don't know. But what if they are? I don't want to bring more characters into being and subject them to futility and heartbreak. No more pain for two. 

I created a special written ritual where I took my ex partners characters and the babies and put them in that secret place I keep the 'alive' ones who aren't ready to die and that I can keep as a more vivid memory. I take them then I cut the ties. My characters don't go into dumpsters and neither do their loved ones.

Am I attached to form?  Maybe.

Am I just crazy? No doubt but also know that I possess enough compassion for beings that may be only figments or concepts. Either way, I won't take chances anymore. There is enough futility in life to bring in more potential life and subject them to eventual futility as well.

"Well off is the man who has died. Better yet is the one who has not been born." - Solomon

So it's time to walk away, be content with the sanctuary I created and learn to live without the sound of another person talking in my head.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Our Father (you've been warned)

"The Profiteer

With conquest long beneath the ground,
Your likeness is a poverty of emancipation,
With glory before freedom.
Your purchase washes liberty
With the tarnished blood incision,
Where earth might struggle with pride."

Dear Father,

Just thought I'd shoot you a letter...let you know how school's been doing.  I don't like it much.  It seemed like a good idea when we all made plans, but if I'd had any clue it would be like this? I'da passed. Big time.

So far I've learned how to be homeless as young person. I learned how to be homeless as an older person too.  It's not fun crawling out of the van you live in to walk into Wal Mart and take a whore bath and then don my blue vest and work as a cashier there.  Not at the age of 40.  When I was 19, it was an adventure.  Remember when I told you about  parking the car at Circus Circus in Las Vegas? Yeah...we had blankets up in the windows to block out the desert sun and I played electronic football.  People passing by looked at us pretty weird. We just laughed. That's actually a good memory.

I learned how to be a drug addict. I learned how to be paranoid and stand in the door way with mistrustful eyes and my hand on the shotgun, ready to shoot people for the imagined threats they posed.  Or was all that imagined? I don't know.  Those were weird days and I still wonder about a great many things.

I learned how to recover from addiction too.  That was almost as much of a bitch as being an addict.  Oh! Oh! I learned this neat little acronym from the 12-Step groups: S.O.B.E.R.  It stands for: Son Ofa Bitch, Everythings Real. Pretty nifty, huh?

I also learned, thanks to church, to turn the other cheek.  I did this on a fairly regular basis at school.  I remember the time when some kids followed me home.  They used a stick to scoop a dog turd into tin can and toss it at me.  I didn't cry.  I didn't run. I walked.  And held my head up and didn't look to the left or to the right.  That might  have been bearable if home had been sanctuary.  But it wasn't.

Oh, I'm no saint. Don't get me wrong.  I thought all my endurance of that stuff was for 'righteousness sake'.  But it wasn't.  It was just a series of days in the life of.  It could have been the life of any other number of kids. Oh. And it is. It's going on allll the time. In turn, I beat my sisters, tormented them, scared them and probably scarred them as well. It's what I learned to do.

Speaking of school, dear Father, let me ask you a question: All those poor starving kids in Africa and other undeveloped countries: What are they here to learn? How to swell up and explode?

It's been 2000 years since older brother came down to teach people.  I don't meet many people who've learned much from him.  A glance around the world tells me that much.  Two words, Dad: Epic Fail. Yeah.  Oh, older brother did good.  But let me ask you about that part where he asks you, "Father, Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" Well, what about that, old man?  At this 'resurrection' why didn't any of his disciples recognize him by his body?  They all thought he was the gardener!  So, who's body was it?  And what happened to the body he was born with? Where'd it go, Dad?  Where'd big brother go? Pretty hinky if you ask me.

When I think about it, I get this haunting feeling of deja vu.  I look up at the stars and I know that my older brother isn't there.  I think if I look down at the ground, I'd be closer to the mark.  You know...the law of Moses say's a Life for a Life. could one mans life equal more than just one life?  What about everyone else?  I don't know, but I have a pretty good idea.  I think when a person dies, they can't ever have their original body back.  But a body could be any number of things, right?  After all, a body is just a system. A system of organs, bones, muscles, nerves and blood.  Science, clever thing that it is, has taught me a great many things such as how self-similar everything works. Circles within circles within circles. A regular clockwork.  Nice, well-oiled machine. Just like my body. A body can be any system.  But tell me...who'd volunteer to be a bolt in the machine? Or a nut or a screw?  Or a beam? Sheep.  Nice, frightened, obedient sheep.

But you know.....for a long time I've been wanting to come back home.  And I wonder why.  I don't remember a goddamn thing.  And all that aside, aren't kids supposed to leave the nest?  Sorry pop, but I don't want to be the 40 year old virgin living in the basement with smelly linens, 2 day old pizza and empty soda cans next to my computer.

Just call me Noah's Dove.  Just call me your wandering, backsliding daughter.  Or Son of Perdition if you like.  Maybe I'll wander about looking for the Nazarene.  The one that got left behind to rot in hell for the last two thousand years.  Heh... a thousand years for a day, right?  By God reckoning? Nothing is ever the way it seems.  Well, he rose on the third day, right? It's been two one thousand year days now.  But that's a mysterious work, ain't it?  Soooo then...yeah.  The one who treads the wine-press alone.  He aught to be good and insane by now.  I wonder how it felt. I really do.  Did it feel like two days human reckoning? Or...or...did it feel like two days....your...reckoning?  Yes.  That would do the trick.  That would drive anyone insane.

He's wherever I walk you know.  A closer walk.

Here's my key, Dad.  I know you have  mansions and whatnot, but I love these poor slobs down here.  I love how they keep trying no matter how hard life gets.  As long as there are poor and suffering, I'll stay your ever-wandering and backsliding daughter.  Keep the fancy mansion and promises. And find someone else to play your game.  I'm done with it.  I'll just go on sinning and loving, although not necessarily in that order.  I'll just think what I think, say what I say and do what I do and let the chips fall where they may.

I'll tell you the most valuable thing I've learned since I've been here: Nothing is ever as it seems.  You can get what  you want, but it never turns out to be the way you imagine it.  In my case, it's like.... a big disappointment.  Yeah, promises fulfilled, covenants kept, but what do you get?  Something that doesn't look in any way how you implied  it would look.  The Whopper on TV always looks better than the one you buy at BK.  That's goddamn right.  Have it your way.


Your Anonymous, Backsliding Daughter

P.S. I'm not sorry anymore. I'm done being sorry.
P.P.S. Dad? Just how far does the apple fall from the tree? Just a thought.

"What do you get for pretending the danger's not real
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel" -Sheep by Pink Floyd, Animals

Wednesday, June 7, 2017


I went camping from last Thursday til yesterday.  It wasn't RV style-we roughed it.  The fanciest things we had were the fold down back seat of the van to sleep on and a small, portable, Coleman stove.  There were no porta potties and no trash receptacles, we had to use trash bags to dispose of our trash.  It was pretty primitive as far as camping goes.  But aside from several backpackers on Saturday, it was nearly silent.  I would sit or lie and listen for the different bird calls.  There's a pair of crows that bicker back and forth and several I couldn't identify.  Truth be told, the crows were the only ones I identified.  Oh! And I saw a pair of small falcons too!

A short ways from the campsite is a beautiful creek going under a bridge and coming out of the other side to flow over huge stones that have been eroded for who knows how many thousands of years.  The erosion looks like tiny steps on the rocks slanted at an angle.  We played a game called stick races: you place a stick or leaf in a spot on the creek where it cannot be immediately swept away but which can eventually be swept into the stream.  I found myself mesmerized as I followed the progress of my little twig hoping it would get swept into the stream before my ex's did.  If it gets stuck for too long or permanently stuck... disqualified! 

And a little sunburn and a lot of bugs!  There were mosquitoes, small black ants, large black ants, noseeums, fireflies and bees of various sorts.  There was even a beetle with a metallic outer wing in orangish pinkish greenish blue.  Yeah, like that made sense.  I got bit up by bugs in spite of using skin so soft, or else the sun gave me a rash (like my ex claims), or both.  I think it's a mixture of bug bites and maybe contact dermatitis from a plant.  At least it didn't get on my butt!

There were short walks.  My ex knows those woods like the back of his hand so he took me into the woods to see where the small stream that comes out of the mountain meets up with the main creek.  Always always take a walking stick with you!  My ex has navigated steep inclines using two sticks (two-stickin it he says) like they were two extra legs.  I tried it once but you really have to have some strength anyhow.

Anyhow, we had a great time and it was so peaceful.  As long as it remains a little known secret, it will stay that way.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

A Walled In Sim

NoFor those not familiar with the series, there's a game called The Sims.  There's four versions now.  In this game, you create a digital person; you determine their looks, give them a wardrobe, assign traits and a life goal, and then you plop them on a starter lot to live out their little lives.  It's really fun.

As the game progresses, they have wishes you can either help fulfill or you can ignore them.  They have careers, fall in love, fight, fish, and fuck.  They even have some free will thrown in for good measure, so you may occasionally find them chatting up a stranger rather than doing the shopping you sent them out to do.

There can be dark elements to this game.  Let me explain.  The first edition I played was a console version called Sims: Bustin Out.  Or something like that.  I let my sim flirt with one of the pre-made Sims.  They fell in love.  I had mine propose only to find out she was already married.  Bummer.  So... I went into buy/build mode and built four walls around the competition then unpaused from build mode.  This is called walling in a sim.  Over time the little sim starves to death and dies because it has no door to walk through and no way to get to food. 

So I played and watched and waited for this sim to die so that mine might marry the girl he wanted.  The thing is, is that these little digital creatures turn around and look at you.  They point at their mouths to let you know they're hungry.  They get lonely and cry.  They lose control of their bladders and end up wallowing in a puddle of their own piss.  I could only take this for so long before I was bawling my eyes out and going into build mode to tear the walls down.  He ate, cleaned up, peed and socialized and slept.  All was made right at last.

"So where are you going with this?" you may be asking by now.

I'm talking about a human being as a walled in sim.  I am a walled in sim.  That is to say, I feel trapped in my home and sometimes unable to perform even the simplest of duties like bathing or washing my hair.  Sometimes the terror I experience just thinking of leaving my house is intolerable.  And I don't feel like I'm in control of any of this.  I feel programmed to be this way to the point that I sabotage my efforts to lose weight (my programming seems to dictate that I can't drop below 205 pounds.) When I apply myself with determination to get even one pound below 200 just to prove I can, the programming kicks in followed by weight loss fail, or even a rapid gain to punish me for my audacity.

However, food must be bought and dishes must be washed so I can cook a meal so whatever evil hand hovering over that big mouse in the sky finally puts me in build mode (which I must not be conscious of)and builds a door or window of time, I can temporarily get a few things done.  I don't fool myself into thinking this is free will anymore.  It's all fear driven.  As soon as I get home I feel relieved and just want to slunk down the front door. 

Whatever hand hovers over the mouse in the sky must be owned by something that really hates me and enjoys tormenting me.  I see people who's lives seem to be lived in the sun and their sim angel or whatever, loves them and blesses them.  Mine just likes to get my hope up and then snatch my hope away.  Any time something starts looking promising, I wait for the other shoe to drop.  Most of the time I don't even look any more.  I'm just waiting for my sim angel to grow bored enough to delete my file. Hey, rearrange the letters in file and you get life!

In Heathen beliefs it could be said that I was born under the dubious auspices of an ill willing Norn.  Perhaps I was an assignment someone didn't want so I get tormented.  Who can say?

Not me.

I don't know if I really believe any of this or not, it sort of smacks of The Matrix, but it's the best analogy I have to describe my frustration.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Suffer In Silence

My ex surfs YouTube, seeking heart rending songs.
He finds a few.
I hear the tremble in his voice as he barely sings along-he stifles his passion to make it manageable.
I hear all this and remain silent.
I cry quietly, politely,
with my back turned so we don't have to acknowledge the obvious vulnerability that screams from our souls.
We suffer in silence because we fear the rain and the flood should one or both of us speak.